no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
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