First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
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