i was rollin on her like bob the builder
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
Randomize
