It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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