I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
