so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
