is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
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