hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
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