he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
Well, I'm off to go seduce a gay man. In 10 years when I'm 300 pounds, sitting in a mumu surrounded by my 500 cats, remind me of this text. That way I can be like "ohhh THERE'S where I went wrong!!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
Randomize