flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
Randomize
