I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
Randomize
