Someone shit on the floor
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
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