I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
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