If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
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