Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
A+ Viking dick
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