census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
Hello my rib-scented angel!
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
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