I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Randomize