btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
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