Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
Randomize
