youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
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It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
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I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
That awkward moment when you were so fucking drunk lastnight that you and your fuck buddy wake up wearing eachother's clothing covered in hot cheetos with his cat curled up between your heads meowing. Thought you'd appreciate this moment with me.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
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