You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
Randomize
