who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
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