I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
