What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
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