my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
Help me help you realize you are a moron
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
