so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
