Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
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