im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
Randomize
