I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Randomize
