like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
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