Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
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