whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
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