Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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