we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Randomize
