i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
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