all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
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