If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
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