so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
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i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
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