After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
Randomize
