I need help removing her.
Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
Randomize
