yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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