she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
if i get the "i'm engaged" text one more time, i'm going to shoot myself in the face so my cats won't eat it when i die alone.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
Randomize
