home. puking in laundry basket.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
Randomize