summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
Randomize
