it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
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