i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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