Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
Randomize
