Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
Randomize
