Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
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