The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
Randomize
