Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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