alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
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