Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
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