i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
I am available for nakedness
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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