3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
