there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
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