Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
Randomize
