I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Randomize
