yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
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