You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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