and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
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