epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
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