Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
The streets are paved with hand jobs
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