I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
Things I find upon waking: a gay man, a straight girl both clad in web bathing suits, a full bathtub, an empyt bottle of jamesons at the bottom and a scuba mask
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
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We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
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You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks