Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"