we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
Are my feet made of real feet?
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways