like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
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Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
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He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
Shame is for Republicans.
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