I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
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