Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
Can you bring me the toilet please
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
Randomize
