dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
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