It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
Randomize
