we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
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