Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Randomize
